“Breast cancer isn’t just a women’s issue”: Stef (63) wants to break the taboo

During the annual family weekend in October 2023, Stef first voiced his concerns. He had been feeling a lump in his breast for several weeks and noticed that his nipple had become inverted. On the advice of his partner and daughter, he went to the doctor. An ultrasound and mammogram were followed by a biopsy. On November 8, the diagnosis came: breast cancer. “Things moved quickly after the diagnosis. On December 8, I underwent a total mastectomy,” Stef says. His sentinel lymph node was also removed. “It turned out to be unaffected, so chemo and radiation weren’t necessary. I’m so lucky. I got off easy.”

The diagnosis was a huge blow to Stef. “The ground literally falls out from under your feet. The word ‘cancer’ carries a heavy weight. You immediately associate it with death.” He noticed how little people know about breast cancer in men. “When you say you have breast cancer, people sometimes give you a puzzled look. They don’t really know what to say. Often, they don’t even know it can happen to a man.”

Stef’s diagnosis took on an extra dimension when it turned out that he carries a BRCA2 mutation. Such a hereditary gene mutation can increase the risk of certain cancers, including breast and ovarian cancer, and can be passed down from parent to child. His daughter was also found to carry the same mutation and opted for preventive surgery. “For a long time, I felt guilty for passing the gene on to her, but I didn’t even know that this genetic mutation ran in our family. So I couldn’t do anything about it—like get screened, for example. But thanks to my breast cancer diagnosis, my daughter knows about it now and can take preventive action.”

Stef’s treatment isn’t quite over yet. He’s currently undergoing hormone therapy and has follow-up appointments every six months. “It’s not easy, but I know I caught it early. That makes a big difference.”

He looks back on his journey with satisfaction. “Chemo and radiation were never really an option—and they still aren’t, for that matter. I’d choose a mastectomy again. I’m not exactly at an age where I’d be parading around bare-chested on the beach anyway,” he jokes.

The odd one out

Every year, about 100 men in Belgium are diagnosed with the disease. For women, the number is approximately 11,000 annually. In the waiting room at the breast clinic, he was often the only man among all the women. “I felt like the odd one out.”

Through the nonprofit BorstkankerMAN, Stef found the support he needed. “I was sitting at home worrying, and that’s how I ended up there. Suddenly, you realize: I’m not alone.” Thanks to that organization, he found the courage and motivation to share his story today.

“Guys, check yourselves”

There’s a taboo surrounding this, and Stef wants to break it. “If people talk about it more, men might be more likely to check themselves as well.” He emphasizes that men need to get to know their bodies and take any changes seriously. “I never really paid attention to my appearance myself, but you should actually be more aware of it so you can react as soon as something changes. If you notice it too late, you’ll be dealing with side effects and metastases. It’s really important to detect it at the earliest possible stage and be able to treat it.”

Stef’s message is clear: “Men, check yourselves. Examine yourselves. There’s really nothing wrong with that. It’s high time we stopped stigmatizing breast cancer in men. Breast cancer is definitely not just a women’s issue. It can happen to anyone, including men.”

Do you know the 9 warning signs of breast cancer? Refresh your memory with this article.