Laura: my first screening mammogram

This year I reached a major milestone: I turned 40. As if the number 4 wasn't traumatic enough in terms of age, 40 also rings the bell for the very first mammogram. What a joy! I am the first to recognize the usefulness and importance of this type of examination, but, once it comes, you still go there with a scared heart and an uncertain smile.

So for several months now I have been fighting with:

• A little white angel on my left shoulder telling me to do the right thing, to react like a responsible and mature person and make an appointment for this examination as soon as possible. It is better to prevent than to cure. In short, with lots of logical and sensible ideas.
• And a little devil to my right who gives me many good reasons not to do it. With enormously tempting arguments, unfortunately. For example, my mom got breast cancer two years ago, type triple negative. I actively supported her throughout her treatment. So for me, this examination is neither routine nor harmless.

Sometimes I tend to the right-wing male (the little devil) and pretend to forget the existence of mammography. And yet I decided to have the examination: left wins. Angel on the left 1 - Little devil on the right 0. To get revenge, the little devil bombarded my head with a lot of questions that I found difficult to answer.

• Where? Is it better to go to a small center or rather to a hospital with very sophisticated equipment?
• When. Depending on your cycle, your breasts may feel sore. Unfortunately, scheduling does not allow for anything other than scheduling the appointment at the end of the cycle, during the most sensitive period.

The first appointment

After managing the little animals on your shoulders and a long debate with yourself about the philosophical background of all these questions, you get to the point where your "long-awaited appointment" is there. You could come up with a thousand excuses to postpone the appointment

Just then, you think that a small, not too severe earthquake that would prevent you from going to your appointment would be welcome. With lead in your shoes, accompanied by the little red monster sputtering in every way, you make your way to the fateful pre-selected place for your mammogram.

Full of fears and doubts, you walk through the door of the practice. The little white angel reminds you that it is better to be reasonable; after all, they have your breasts in their hands. With all the desperation in the world on your shoulders, you undress and wait patiently for someone to come and get you for the torture. You are then escorted to the "torture chamber," where you discover a large device that will crush your breasts like pancakes.

Pancakes

When you stand in front of the machine, they take your breasts and place them on the glass of the machine. You are asked to position yourself properly, and the party can begin.

The machine slowly compresses until your beautiful little round breasts are flattened like little pancakes. It is then, when you find yourself in an unlikely and very uncomfortable position, that you are told there are 4 pictures. But, but, but, but, .... four pictures... does that mean four pancakes? Oh yes... that's exactly what it means....

But you don't even have time to complain, because you feel that the plates are already compressing everything. Hell, you didn't even know it was even possible to push your breasts so flat! We learn every day! Fortunately, it only takes a few seconds. You can count to 10 crocodiles. And at this point, you realize that 10 crocodiles is quite a long time... For the right breast, it's done. Now for the left. When you just thought that all in all, even with 2 pancake breasts, that they are now explaining to you that they are going to take profile pictures. Yes, that actually makes sense: frontal photos and profile photos, as in criminals. Just the black and white line and a "Wanted" sign are missing, and you have everything for a good western.

Well, you prepare to put your little right pancake on the machine, which by now has already turned to take a profile picture. In the back of your mind you have the comforting thought, "soon it will all be over". But, the sideways crushing is even more painful! The 10 crocs now look like 150 and now you are quietly getting really tired of it! Fortunately, the torture for your right breast will soon be over! One more quick shot of the left breast and it's done! The 150 crocs from before have now become 200 and with a sigh of relief you pull your little left pancake from between the machine as soon as it releases your breast.

It's over! You did that right! You didn't cry, didn't offend anyone and you're still alive! Now just the ultrasound and you can walk out feeling like you accomplished something great.

That ultrasound, that won't be too bad, after the splash sessions you've already had. You go to the next room and are asked to wait for the doctor. So, completely naked and also somewhat embarrassed, you wait, stretched out on the table, while the doctor looks at the pictures that were just taken. You have the impression that the minutes are going backwards instead of forwards. The little figures on your left and right shoulders begin a vicious tennis match to create even more panic in your mind.

End of match

During these longest minutes of your life, you hear the footsteps of the doctor approaching. Who told me, "The pictures are reassuring."

For me, those were the 4 most beautiful words ever uttered. But then you realize that the ordeal is not yet over: the doctor has yet to perform the ultrasound.

At that moment you almost long for the profile pictures in the machine in the room next door. The doctor fills you full of gel and starts the ultrasound. Your sensitive breasts get a thrashing. Accompanied by your moans, she continues for what seems like an eternity to you. Your breasts are transformed into a crosspiste and are pushed in all directions: But finally, with flat and traumatized breasts, I received the redeeming message: "the examination is reassuring, there is nothing worrying".

Yes!!! Little white angel: 2 - little red devil: 0. End of match.

I felt like a superheroine and was proud to have had the courage to go through all that. It occurred to me that the little white character was right all along: it is better to prevent than to cure. Screening is very important, there is no arguing about that. And yes, in the days following the screening you will still have little memories of the beautiful moment you experienced together with the doctor and his machines. I didn't mind that much, those memories reminded me that I am lucky to know that everything is going well and that is priceless!

In most cases, your story will be similar to mine and you will leave the hospital satisfied and relieved. But sometimes, unfortunately, this will not be the case. But through the investigative process and regular screening, you will hopefully get there in time. So never hesitate and always let the little white character win and accompany you to the examination room for screening. Now you can reassure your breasts and let the little characters rest for the next 12 to 18 months!