Antihormone therapy: the story of the blip and the bump

Inne: "Before I was struck by a precursor breast cancer, I had never heard of antihormone therapy. Three days after the amputation of my left breast, I met my gynecologist. I vividly remember my gynecologist sitting with me on the bed and saying, "Your axillary glands are clear, this initially reduces the need for chemotherapy (removed breast needed further examination at that time), but we suggest a course of antihormone medication anyway." The medication should eliminate any chance that a lesion could develop into cancer.

Then the door to my room closed and I was alone. No more birth control pill, but antihormone medication to maximize my chances for the future: what could I possibly have against that? Still, I was hungry for more information and so I started googling on my smartphone with the search term "antihormone medication and experiences." I soon learned that the antihormone medication that was suggested to me was intended to shut down the action of the female hormone. The known brands within that range were Nolvadex and Tamoxifen. Personally, I chose Nolvadex because I found the least negative experiences about it in my google search.

January 2016 started the therapy and it would end at the end of 2021. For the first few months, I personally experienced little inconvenience from the medication. The most commonly known possible side effects anyway include heat flare-ups, joint discomfort, vaginal changes, less desire for sex, difficulty concentrating, insomnia and slight weight gain. For me, the first side effects did not become apparent until six months into the treatment, and they initially translated into stiff muscles in the morning: the feeling of being a diesel that needs to gradually get going. Around noon, though, that feeling of stiffness had disappeared each time. I also gradually gained some pounds from the medication.

Toward the end of the first year, the worst side effect for me began to show up. I developed endometriosis. I started producing excessive amounts of eggs due to the medication. Which caused endometriosis cysts (endometriomas: cysts in the ovary(s)). As a result, I sometimes didn't have periods for months. I developed a distended abdomen and excessive abdominal pain. Since exhibiting that side effect, I struggled through that 5-year period. There were months when I was fine, but there were also long periods when I had no periods and struggled with severe abdominal pain. The antihormone medication also made me very emotional at times and magnified certain feelings.

I am glad that by now I have not had to take antihormone medication for 1.5 years and my body has recovered. Of course I would take the medication again, because under no circumstances do I want to get sick again. Seeing my children grow up was the most important goal for me from the beginning. They were 4 and 6 years old when I got sick. I have had so many wonderful moments with them. But I will not forget the misery I had because of the antihormone medication.

People close to you often say "you didn't really have cancer" or "you shouldn't complain, you're still here - everything is behind you, they patched you back up anyway." Such comments are obviously not appropriate. People who don't know what is or was are sometimes better off keeping their unsolicited opinions to themselves. DCIS is treated like breast cancer and no doctor will ever give you a guarantee that you will be completely cured. I have learned to live with that fear and uncertainty after a while, but I will still have to learn to live with the fact that my womanhood is affected both internally by the antihormone medication and externally by the surgeries themselves (amputation and reconstruction)."