Writing as a healing force

"A series of ups and downs, isn't that the essence of life? A sequence of moments full of joy, but also sadness, unforgettable and sometimes magical encounters, but also loss, mourning and a reality that is difficult to accept.

Who am I?

My name is Delphine Remy. I now live in Belgium, but used to live in Texas for many years. Just like that, without the slightest foreboding, cancer entered my life in June 2019. Small but very aggressive, so I received the full treatment: lumpectomy, mastectomy, chemotherapy, radiation, prophylactic mastectomy and ten years of hormone therapy.

Writing as an outlet

Everyone reacts differently to all that breast cancer entails. As soon as you are diagnosed, many painful moments follow: the surgery, the first time you see your mutilated body, losing your hair, shaving your head, the tough treatments with side effects, the red tape. There is so much you have to go through, so much you have to process and accept in a short period of time. What helped me the most was writing.

First, writing to bring order to the chaos in my head after the diagnosis. There is no better image than an arena full of bumper cars to describe that one terrible phone call. From the moment you feel the shock, you are swayed from side to side, it hits you to the deepest fiber of your body. Denial, misunderstanding, turmoil, guilt and confidence, I felt it all at once. In the days and months that followed, those feelings gave way to anger and sadness, loneliness and despair, but silently to joy and surprising discoveries.

Writing has allowed me to put all that behind me. In the end, we all find our own way to deal with the cancer story. Maybe for you it helps to listen to music, find peace or just hang out with friends? Above all, do something that makes you feel good and makes you feel like you can escape harsh reality for a while.

Today I am still dedicated to the fight against cancer. I wrote a book about it - "Cancer? Je gère !" - and my blog of the same name remains my outlet. In my (French-language) podcast "Naïtre princesse, devenir guerrière," I also talk to fellow sufferers and experts.

Happy ending

"Life sucks sometimes," we can all agree on that. Recently someone told me that in life we are simply hit by things out of our control, but we always have a choice: the choice to turn obstacles into stepping stones. When you find the courage to welcome joy back into your life in spite of it all, it proves of considerable strength. I have learned that just during the most difficult moments in their lives, people discover their greatest asset and resilience.

I also like to talk about joy; it keeps us going. You always have the choice - despite everything, despite all the "life sucks" - to embrace joy. Every day you can make that switch, cancer or not. I have discovered during my life, in all the trials I have endured, some much harder than cancer, that it is precisely in the most difficult moments that we discover extraordinary resources. It is important to always make those small assessments for yourself and celebrate the small victories, because there will be many battles to come. I often hear people say, "We will never be the same." And indeed, that is true, but what if instead we focus on building something beautiful?"

Blog'Cancer? Je gère'

Livre'Cancer? Je gère'

Podcast'Naïtre princesse, devenir guerrière'